You don’t understand how hard I fucking laughed CHOCOLATE MILK SQUIRTED OUT MY NOSE
This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
brb trapped in a republican bathroom
I do hope he is aware but he probs just lives like a normal person, with one shower head and non-egg shaped bathtub
kitten wiggles ears while eating
i don’t even care if i reblog this twice a day every single day for the rest of my life
i dont think my friends understand. when i say my room is messy i dont mean “cute” messy where i have a jacket hanging here and there i mean messy as in fuckin trash island where garbage citizens hold elections over who will become the next trash overlord it’s fuckin gross
“Challenge accepted!” —SPN fandom.
omg this is still going
IT’S A RULE TO REBLOG EVERY TIME IT SHOWS UP ON YOUR DASH.
i’m not even in the supernatural fandom and i’m still going to reblog
lost count of the times i’ve reblogged this
I swear like half of those reblogs is me
…………………..it’s still not fucking broken
Jesus fuck this is almost at 12,000,000